Discord Privacy Settings: Friend Requests and DMs
By default, anyone in a shared server can message you. A few settings narrow that.
By Siddharth ShankarUpdated October 22, 2026In Discord, open Settings, then Content & Social. Turn off direct messages from server members, or change the DM setting for each server, to stop strangers in shared servers from messaging you. Under Friend Requests, untick Everyone, Friends of Friends and Server Members to stop all requests. Blocking hides a blocked user’s profile details by default. These settings reduce contact, not what the platform itself holds.
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Discord is built around servers, and by default people who share a server with you can contact you. Its own help article lists the controls that change that.
Direct messages from server members
Discord’s help article says that by default anyone in a shared server can send you a direct message. On a computer or in a browser, open Settings, then Content & Social, and find Social permissions. Turning off the direct messages toggle blocks DMs from non-friends in your servers, and Discord then asks whether to apply the change to all of your servers.
On mobile, the same control sits under Settings, Content & Social, Server Settings.
Set DMs for each server
The Social permissions drop-down lets you change the DM setting for one server at a time. That helps if you trust a small friends’ server but not a large public one.
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Friend requests
Under Content & Social, Friend Requests controls who may add you. Discord describes three options:
- Everyone. Anyone who knows your Discord username or is in a mutual server with you can send a request.
- Friends of Friends. The sender must share at least one mutual friend with you.
- Server Members. People who share a server with you can send a request.
Untick all three and nobody can send you a friend request. On mobile the section is called Friends Requests.
Blocking and ignoring
To block someone, use the ellipsis next to a member and choose Block, or right-click them in your Friends list or DMs on a computer. Discord says blocked users’ profile details are hidden by default. You can still view a blocked user’s profile without notifying them or lifting the block.
If a blocked user is in a group chat with you, you see a one-time alert with the option to leave. Leaving does not notify anyone. Discord also has a softer Ignore option, covered in its own guide.
What these settings do not change
They control who can contact you. They do not control what Discord stores about you or what happens if a service you gave an ID to is breached. That happened in the Discord ID image exposure, so be careful about uploading identity documents anywhere.
Keep your username from linking accounts
The same handle on different sites makes you easy to follow around the web. Read what people can find from your username before you reuse one.
Sources
- Discord Support: privacy and safety settings (DM defaults, Social permissions, friend request options, blocking)
Frequently asked questions
Who can message me on Discord by default?
Discord’s article says anyone in a shared server can send you a direct message.
How do I stop strangers in servers messaging me?
Open Settings, Content & Social, and turn off the direct messages toggle under Social permissions.
How do I stop all friend requests?
Under Content & Social, Friend Requests, untick Everyone, Friends of Friends and Server Members.
Does blocking someone hide my profile from them?
Discord says blocked users’ profile details are hidden by default.
Do these settings protect my data if Discord is breached?
No. They only control who can contact you.
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